We've got some weird news filtering in from across our southern border. It appears that Barack Obama ate Mitt Romney's dog. There are unconfirmed reports that this happened a while ago, when Obama was young and living in Indonesia, and hungry. There are also reports that Romney put the dog on top of his car and drove from Boston to Canada, and presumably stopped in Indonesia on the way. It is not clear if Romney has arrived here yet, but we're keeping a bit of a lookout for a half eaten dog on a car.
Obviously this issue has become central to the campaign, since eating dog, and even just risking a dog's life, are both not fashionable in America, and so it appears that both campaigns are in full-blown damage control. Obviously the economy must be fine again down there, and probably all the wars are over if they're arguing about dogs. For myself, I wouldn't eat dog, but I also wouldn't fasten one to the outside of a moving vehicle, but I wouldn't have invaded Iraq either, and I'd make sure everyone had free doctors and police and fire men.
I've heard that in America you have to buy special insurance otherwise the firemen show up and won't put out fires, so they'll put out attic fires but not basement fires, or they'll put out kitchen fires but not bedroom fires (depending on your insurance) or if you've ever had a pre-existing fire, then they just let your house burn down, because you can't insure it.
I understand it's the same for police. Police will only solve crimes for you if you bought crime insurance. Anything else would not really be a free market, where police would show up and just do work for you for free, so in America you need to have a deal with your employer to help you pay crime insurance, since it's really expensive, but what else can you do? When you need the police you simply need them, so you better have insurance.
I hear doctors are free though, in America, so at least there's something down there that's civilized.
And did you hear that Obama ate Romney's dog? Frickin' crazy!