Eric says to cherish the pain I have in my heart. Most of the time I consider pain a bad thing; I had certainly never considered cherishing it. What is it like to cherish pain? To some degree, I suppose that I have been cherishing it, because it has been unavoidable, to a large extent. I can savour it and ‘roll it around on my tongue,’ as it were. I sit down with it and have cigarettes with it; I take baths with it, and come home to it. There is something sweet about the pain.
The bad thing about pain is that it hurts. You can only take something from ‘pain’ retrospectively. While you are suffering from it, there is no gain. While experiencing pain, one’s aim is primarily focused on keeping the pain to a minimum, if not subduing it all together. And sometimes one doesn’t have the choice. There are some pains for which there is no anaesthetic.
Eric says to cherish my heartache because it is real. I think that I understand what he means. Today, since there is no other option, I will cling fondly to my pain and hope for a better tomorrow.